the scrolling. the bloody scrolling.
In a reflective passage the narrator first describes her personal shift from calling to texting, disabling voicemail, turning off read‑receipt features, and using notification previews to avoid uncomfortable conversations. She explains how these habits let her hide behind curated personas and evade vulnerability.
She then recounts a specific incident in a bookshop cafe: three twenty‑somethings sit together, each absorbed in their phones, editing selfies, sharing them silently, and planning to upload the images later for superficial “likes.” The narrator labels this behaviour “connection‑lite,” a diet‑version of genuine engagement that provides fleeting dopamine without true vulnerability.
Next, the narrator travels to Slovenia. While at a café she receives a text from Nika, a publicist, inviting her to join Nika and a 55‑year‑old journalist named Janez on a gondola ride over Lake Bohinj. She accepts, meets them, and rides the gondola. During the ascent Janez, described as kind, curious, and still nomadic, speaks about losing his sense of awe. The narrator replies that she maintains awe by hiking and accepting spontaneous invitations. The conversation expands to observations about Slovenian culture—poetry cafés, public reading of newspapers, relaxed Sabbath‑like Sundays, and a tourist brochure that jokes about the country’s confusing name and language difficulty.
After descending, the trio stops at a garden tavern overlooking sunflower fields, orders local beer and liver dishes, and continues a lively discussion. The narrator uses a metaphor of an “overweight dude on a couch” to criticize modern Australia’s complacent, over‑indulgent lifestyle, citing a 2019 Harvard study showing Australia’s wealth correlating with low innovation, and quoting Ross Douthat’s “The Decadent Society” on how abundance breeds intellectual stagnation. Janez reacts positively, indicating agreement.
The narrative then shifts to the dating world. The narrator describes how online dating has become “the litest” and cowardly: matches linger without either party initiating, reliance on “commitment‑lite” invitations, and widespread self‑labeling as introverts or INTJ to signal a lack of bravery. She details experiences on several dating apps, noting that men often propose vague coffee meet‑ups, while her attempts to suggest concrete plans are met with silence.
She explains the phenomenon of ghosting, illustrating it with an Instagram‑algorithm anecdote: despite unfollowing a woman, a ghoster still appears at the top of her Story viewers because Instagram prioritises profiles that have recently viewed the user, indicating obsessive, avoidant monitoring. She mentions that apps now exist to expose such stalkers.
Finally, she reflects that this “connection‑lite” culture leaves people hungry for deeper, “full‑fat” relationships, and she continues to signal her intent to engage courageously by promising to meet in person and using the phrase “I get you” to foster empathy.