Chapter 13
Dear Ma, the narrator begins a 9:52 p.m. Tuesday letter, saying he is “at war” while the president seeks to deport his friends, and expresses a yearning for a heavenly reunion. He tells a Norwegian friend’s tale of a painter lost in a storm, then enumerates seven deceased friends—four from overdoses, Xavier who died in a Nissan crash, and others. He recalls a teenage job at Boston Market on Walnut Street, describing the Evangelical boss with large nose pores, sneaking cornbread in his black apron, and the oppressive seven‑hour shift.
Trevor’s story follows: after breaking his ankle on dirt‑bike jumps, he was prescribed OxyContin, which later spirals into a full‑blown addiction; the narrator notes OxyContin’s 1996 Purdue Pharma origin as a “heroin in pill form.” He reflects on preserving bodies through writing. A left turn onto Harris St. reveals a burned‑out lot where a Go Cong girl erased by an air‑strike is likened to a language‑less ruin.
The narrator recounts a fourteen‑year‑old moment crouched in an abandoned school bus, drawing a line of cocaine that becomes a switchblade‑shaped “I,” a metaphor for his growing monstrous self. He muses on fleeting comforts (the pronunciation of “spaghetti”) and winter roses as suicide notes.
Walking night‑time streets in Hartford, he hears an unseen Arabic voice praying Salat al‑Fajr; he imagines the prayer lifting like a guillotine blade and reflects on the Prophet’s hadith. He supplies factual background: OxyContin’s initial cancer‑pain use, its expansion to non‑cancer pain, and Purdue’s false “abuse‑resistant” marketing.
Trevor’s character is fleshed out—his love of The Shawshank Redemption, Jolly Ranchers, Call of Duty, his one‑eyed border collie Mandy, an asthma‑induced grotesque comment, his ambition to study physical therapy, and his eventual overdose from heroin laced with fentanyl. At a writing conference, a white veteran in a gold‑stitched cap asks whether destruction is necessary for art; the narrator replies “no,” hoping the answer will make him believe it.
While watching a TV documentary of buffalo running off a cliff, Lan asks why they die; the narrator improvises an explanation about following family, and mentions Marsha, a neighbor who canvasses for stop‑sign petitions. Marsha’s two sons, Kevin and Kyle, both overdose; after their deaths she moves to a mobile home park, yet the stop signs remain. The front door bears red spray‑paint “FAG4LIFE,” which the narrator jokingly interprets as “Merry Christmas.”
He critiques the industry that profits from sadness, yearning to meet the “millionaire of American sadness.” He declares he never used heroin because of needle fear, recalling Trevor’s seizure in his basement; he rushes Trevor’s head, witnesses foam, and later sees Trevor revived in the hospital—the second such event. Years later, after Trevor’s death, the narrator hears Trevor’s voice in his mind singing “This Little Light of Mine.”
A vivid memory follows: the narrator watches Trevor skin a raccoon in a summer lot behind a bait‑and‑tackle shack, describing the gutted pelt, the animal’s eyes, and the scent of blood. He then gives a series of directional instructions—right on Risley, past a lot, to a house with a charcoal‑grey left side—interlaced with metaphors about snow, a blizzard, and a burning bush that disappears when he approaches.
Philosophical digressions explore the politicisation of art, the entanglement of laughter and slaughter, and the paradox of OxyContin’s “abuse‑resistant” claim. He describes a chaotic scene where a white party guest boasts “you’re making a killing with poetry,” and later recounts a buffalo TV clip with Lan, the stop‑sign activist Marsha, and the spray‑painted graffiti.
The chapter closes with repetitive motifs: the taste of a green‑apple Jolly Rancher, the phrase “Little Dog,” the instruction to turn right on Risley, the warning not to forget him, and a final farewell—“Good night. Good lord, Green Apple.”