Chapter 14
The chapter opens in a stark bedroom where Lan lies on a mattress, swathed in a sweat‑soaked towel, her yellow blanket turned grey. The narrator, “you,” and Mai hover over her; Lan awakens, whispering “I’m burning like a hut inside,” and the narrator promises to “put water on it.”
In a flashback to the doctor’s white office, the narrator receives a manila envelope of X‑rays showing a massive osteolytic lesion that has eaten a third of Lan’s right femur and the hip socket. The narrator feels a surge of anger, wanting an enemy for the disease, and learns the official diagnosis is stage‑four bone cancer.
Back home, the family moves Lan onto a cool tile floor, propping her with pillows. Lan refuses to accept the prognosis, calling the children “just children” and insisting they will understand later. Pain spikes; the narrator fans her with a paper plate while Mai spoon‑feeds her oatmeal. The narrator administers Vicodin, OxyContin, then morphine, while cleaning her soiled bedpan. Lan’s intermittent speech drifts from “I used to be a girl…” to asking “You eat yet?”
The narrator muses on humanity’s compulsion to sustain life, citing Duchamp’s “Fountain” as an analogy for Lan’s body being turned upside‑down, her form redefined by cancer.
A vivid memory of the narrator’s first sexual encounter with Trevor erupts: in a barn lit by an oil lamp, the two engage in rough, painful intercourse, licking spit, feeling moths die around them, and later stumble into the river where Trevor washes the narrator. The scene intercuts with the present, underscoring the narrator’s reliance on physical extremes to feel alive.
After breakfast, Mai declares “It’s time.” Lan’s eyes flutter; the narrator and “you” scramble for aspirin, noticing her toes turning a dark, almost‑purple hue. The narrator recalls a childhood episode when Lan lifted the narrator over a chain‑link fence to collect tiny violet wildflowers, linking that memory to the present “purple” toes. Lan asks for a spoonful of Go Cong rice; Mai brings it, Lan eats it, sighs “So sweet,” and drifts back to sleep.
Two hours later Lan’s breathing halts; the narrator counts her toes repeatedly, watches her inhale once and never exhale, and then helps clean her body. The family attempts to insert Lan’s dentures; rigor mortis clamps her jaw, the dentures fall, prompting a shocked scream and a whispered “fuck fuck fuck.”
Five months later Lan’s remains sit in an urn on the bedside table. The narrator travels to Vietnam for the funeral. In Tien Giang, rice paddies stretch like sea; monks chant around a polished granite gravestone, villagers bring food, and white‑haired elders share stories of Lan’s life before the war. The narrator initiates a Skype call with Paul, Lan’s former husband, from a laptop balanced near the grave. Paul, speaking broken Vietnamese, apologizes for his absence, recounts how he left in 1971, how Lan’s letters were intercepted, and how they missed each other for decades. His grief is audible as he watches the grave photo of a young Lan.
The narrative shifts to a cultural vignette about Hartford, where residents greet each other with “What’s good?” The passage paints the city’s decaying housing, mixed‑ethnic neighborhoods, drug‑scarred faces, and a communal lexicon born of economic hardship.
Finally, after the urn is buried and the grave polished with wax‑soaked rags, the narrator and a companion return to a dim Saigon hotel. The lights are switched off; the narrator, confused, asks “Where am I?” and replies with the name “Rose” (Hong), noting that a rose is both a bloom and the past tense of “rise.” The dialogue spirals into meditation on names, freedom, cages, and the paradox of being “inside out” after the earlier barn and river experiences, concluding with the narrator’s whispered affirmation that they are both “good” in the darkness.