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The chapter is framed as a letter addressed to Ma, written at 9:52 p.m. on a Tuesday. The narrator begins by comparing his current turmoil to being at war and mentions the president’s deportation policies. He lists the deaths of seven friends: four from overdoses, plus five including Xavier, who died when his Nissan flipped during a fentanyl binge.
He recounts a year working at Boston Market at age seventeen after his tobacco‑farm job. He describes his evangelical boss with large nose pores who never gave breaks; the narrator would steal cornbread from a broom closet during seven‑hour shifts. He notes that Trevor was put on OxyContin after breaking his ankle doing dirt‑bike jumps a year before they met; Trevor was fifteen at the time. The narrator explains OxyContin’s origins (first mass‑produced in 1996) and its similarity to heroin.
The letter continues with vivid memories: a burned house on Harris St. reduced to a chain‑linked lot, a wartime ruin in Go Cong whose woman’s sandals were cut from a jeep tire, and a night after his fourteenth birthday when he tried cocaine on an abandoned school bus, seeing a glowing “I” that became a switchblade in his mind.
He describes wandering Hartford streets at night, hearing an Arabic prayer (Salat al‑Fajr) through a window, and feeling the dawn’s light as a spiritual moment. He reflects on language, identity, and the small comforts of life, such as mispronouncing “spaghetti” as “bahgeddy.”
A neighbor, Marsha, is introduced. She has two sons, Kevin and Kyle, who both later die of heroin overdoses; after their deaths she moves to a mobile park in Coventry. The narrator also mentions graffiti reading “FAG4LIFE” scrawled in red on his front door after a snowstorm, which he jokingly interprets as “Merry Christmas.”
He provides a historical note on Purdue Pharma’s false claims about OxyContin’s abuse‑resistance and its massive sales. The narrative returns to Trevor, now dead at twenty‑two from a heroin‑fentanyl overdose; his room was covered in Led Zeppelin posters. The narrator recalls a seizure in Trevor’s basement where he held Trevor’s head as foam emerged from his mouth, saving his life a second time.
Later, he describes Trevor skinning a raccoon with a Smith & Wesson rifle on the farm, the sight of a black wren on a charred pear, and a visit to the cemetery on House St., noting the 1784 grave of Mary‑Anne Cowder. Three weeks after Trevor’s death, three tulips in a pot briefly appear as a fleeting miracle before fading.
The letter shifts to philosophical musings on addiction, bipolar disorder, the profit of “American sadness,” and the possibility that sadness may be a harsh teacher. He recounts a night on swings where Trevor, under the influence, slurs about his sexual identity, and later shares a Jolly Rancher candy from Trevor’s truck.
He ends with memories of “Little Dog,” the nickname his grandmother Lan gave him, and a story Lan tells about a girl named Rose. He likens their survival to monarch butterflies heading home, emphasizes the reality of their lives, and urges Ma to follow directions (right on Risley, left on Walnut) to reach places tied to his memories. The tone mixes grief, defiance, and a plea for connection.