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CHAPTER 17 - An Unquiet Day

Chapter 174,557 wordsCompleted

The chapter opens with all available Variety employees—bookkeeper Vassily Stepanovich Lastochkin, accountants, typists, box‑office girls, messengers, ushers and cleaners—watching a massive queue of thousands forming on Sadovaya Street after the previous night’s black‑magic seance. Rumours of indecent women and other marvels swirl, frightening Vassily, who now finds himself the senior member of the theatre. By ten o’clock the queue reaches Kudrinskaya Square, prompting police detachments to intervene. Inside the Variety, phones ring nonstop in the offices of Likhodeev, Varenukha, Rimsky and the bookkeeper, but nobody can answer; all three directors are missing, and the findirector’s office is found abandoned, lights on, window broken, armchair on the floor. Madame Rimsky arrives sobbing, is calmed, and the cleaning woman describes the chaotic scene. Police arrive, and Vassily admits that the director, findirector and administrator have vanished, the master of ceremonies has been taken to a psychiatric hospital, and the seance was scandalous. The line of ticket‑seekers is announced cancelled; the crowd eventually disperses.

The investigation proceeds inside the Variety. A muscular ash‑coloured dog, the famous Ace of Diamonds, bursts into the findirector’s office, growls at the broken window, howls, and is later taken away. Staff are summoned; they discover that the contract with the magician is missing from all offices. The magicians name is uncertain—some suggest “Woland” or “Faland”—but no record exists. The magician is rumored to have stayed in Likhodeev’s apartment, which is empty, as are the apartment of the housekeeper Grunya and the chairman Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoy. A huge cardboard sign reading “Today’s Show Cancelled” is posted, prompting the crowd to break up.

Vassily then heads to the Commission on Spectacles and Entertainment to file a report and turn over the day’s receipts of 21 711 roubles. He wraps the money in newspaper, straps it with string, and goes to the cab stand. Three cab drivers refuse him; after a bizarre exchange about change and ten‑rouble bills, he finally secures a cab. Arriving at the commission, he finds the office in chaos: a messenger girl rushes past, the manager of the first sector does not recognize him, and the secretary Anna Richardovna is sobbing, lipstick‑smudged, with mascara running. She grabs Vassily, pleading for help. In the secretary’s room an empty suit sits at a desk, its necktie and pen in place but no head or hands; a voice that sounds like Prokhor Petrovich (the commission chairman) questions the empty suit. Suddenly a giant black cat (Behemoth) and a fat, cat‑like man appear, exchange insults with the suit, and vanish. Police burst in, calm the scene, and Vassily escapes.

Distressed, Vassily walks to the city affiliate on Vagankovsky Lane. Inside, a weeping girl sells literature and is surrounded by incessant ringing telephones. She bursts into hysterical song about Baikal, joined by a messenger who sings a discordant baritone. The staff, under an inexplicable mass hypnosis, are forced to sing in unison. The manager of the affiliate, described as a specialist in organizing clubs and wearing checkered trousers, is praised by the girl. The staff are eventually loaded onto three trucks and taken away, apparently to Professor Stravinsky’s psychiatric clinic.

Later, Vassily reaches the financial sector of the Variety, hoping to deposit the cash. He encounters a clerk behind a frosted‑glass window who questions the amount (21 711 roubles). After receiving a green deposit slip, Vassily unpacks the bundle and sees foreign currencies (Canadian dollars, British pounds, Dutch guilders, Latvian lats, Estonian kroons) swirling before his eyes. A menacing voice declares him a “trickster of the Variety,” and he is immediately arrested.

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Through chapter 17

Two Moscow literary figures, editor Mikhail Alexandrovich Berlioz and poet Ivan Nikolaevich Ponyrev (Homeless), meet at the deserted Patriarch’s Ponds, experience a brief supernatural vision, and argue over an anti‑religious poem about Jesus. A tall, impeccably dressed foreign stranger—later identified as a professor, historian and specialist in black magic—joins them, debates atheism, predicts a bizarre death for Berlioz, and offers a consulting invitation to Moscow, hinting that Jesus did exist. Pontius Pilate conducts the Jerusalem trial of Yeshua Ha‑Nozri, interrogates him about inciting rebellion, learns of his background with Matthew Levi, and hears his radical teachings. Pilate confirms the death sentence for the four criminals—Yeshua, Dysmas, Gestas, Bar‑Rabban—but, after a tense discussion with High‑Priest Joseph Kaifa, orders that Bar‑Rabban be released and the other three be taken to Bald Mountain for execution. He oversees the public announcement on the city platform, the crowd’s reaction, and the dispatch of the condemned men to the execution site. Professor W. asserts he was present on Pontius Pilate’s balcony and in the garden during the Yeshua trial, revealing his unstable condition; a bizarre citizen in checkered trousers appears at the Bronnaya/Yermolaevsky Lane exit; Berlioz rushes to a telephone, is struck by a tram and decapitated, ending his storyline. Ivan Nikolaevich Ponyrev, paralyzed after Berlioz’s death, hears a frantic woman mention “Annushka” and links the name to Professor W., whom he confronts. He then chases the professor through Bronnaya, Patriarch’s Lane, Spiridonovka, Nikitsky Gate, Arbat Square, and several side streets, encountering a bizarre black cat that boards a tram, a mysterious choirmaster, and a checkered‑trousers citizen. Ivan fails to catch the professor, discovers the professor’s hideout at house 13, apartment 47, where he meets a naked woman named Kiriushka, takes a candle and a paper icon, and escapes. He reaches the Moscow River amphitheatre, swims in the icy river, loses his clothes to a bearded fellow who disappears, improvises a makeshift outfit, and decides to head toward Griboedov’s while avoiding notice on the crowded streets. Massolit members convene at Griboedov’s after Berlioz’s death, discover his corpse, and hold a frantic meeting; Ivan Nikolaevich Homeless appears as a ghost‑like figure demanding the capture of the mysterious foreign consultant, provoking chaos and a police‑ready response. Ivan Nikolaevich Ponyrev (Homeless) is confined to a newly built psychiatric clinic on the Moscow riverbank, where a male doctor diagnoses him with schizophrenia and orders a private room (117) after a tumultuous interview. He denounces Riukhin, insists the mysterious foreign consultant is linked to Pontius Pilate, and repeatedly tries to call the police. Riukhin, the agitated poet who was with Ivan, is later taken by truck back to Moscow, arrives at Griboedov’s, and spends the dawn drinking alone. New characters appear: the doctor, a female nurse, and the master of ceremonies Archibald Archibaldovich. Styopa Likhodeev awakens in the cursed apartment No. 50 on Sadovaya Street, confronts the foreign black‑magic professor Woland who arrives with a bizarre breakfast, a contract for a Variety Theatre show, and a retinue of supernatural beings (a giant black cat, the checkered‑trousers citizen, Azazello, and a red‑haired man). The apartment’s haunted history of vanished lodgers is recounted. Styopa discovers a wax seal on Berlioz’s study door, learns of his own forgotten contract, and attempts to call the Variety’s director Rimsky. The surreal scene escalates with mirror‑reflected apparitions, culminating in Styopa losing consciousness and waking on a jetty in Yalta. Ivan awakens in a psychiatric clinic, undergoes a full medical examination, and is interrogated by the clinic’s chief, Doctor Stravinsky, who orders him to remain in the facility, to write a written declaration about the mysterious consultant and Pontius Pilate, and promises assistance. Koroviev, the checkered‑trousers citizen, appears as an interpreter for the foreign magician Woland, persuades the tenants’ chairman Nikanor Bosoy to rent the late Berlioz’s apartment 50 to Woland for a week, draws up a contract and receives a large payment, but the money and documents vanish, sparking panic, accusations and further chaos among the building’s residents. Rimsky, the financial director of the Variety Theatre, and his administrator Varenukha receive a series of bizarre telegrams from Yalta that claim Styopa Likhodeev is in the city, involved with Professor Woland, and under hypnosis. They compare the handwriting to Styopa’s contract, send 500 roubles to the Yalta office, and Varenukha, after a threatening phone call, is seized by the cat‑like Koroviev and the red‑haired Azazello, who steal his briefcase of telegrams, drag him through a storm‑riddled Sadovaya street to building No. 302‑bis, and finally into Styopa’s apartment where a naked red‑haired woman appears, kisses him and he collapses. Ivan, confined in the psychiatric clinic, struggles to draft a report about the mysterious consultant, repeatedly revises it, and becomes overwhelmed by fear of the severed head and the cat. Nurse Praskovya Fyodorovna fetches his pencil and later closes the blinds, gathers his scattered pages and brings them to Doctor Stravinsky, who gives Ivan a calming injection. After the storm lifts, Ivan’s anxiety eases, he reflects on Berlioz’s death, Pilate’s trial, and his futile chase, and engages in a dialogue between two versions of himself. At the chapter’s end a shadowy figure appears on the balcony above his bed and whispers “Shhh!” Woland stages a spectacular magical show at the Variety Theatre; his assistants Koroviev (the checkered clown) and the giant cat Behemoth perform astonishing tricks, including a rain of real banknotes and the violent decapitation of master of ceremonies Georges Bengalsky, which is later reversed. The chaos provokes a demand for exposure by Arkady Apollonovich Sempleyarov, leading to a farcical confrontation and further mayhem. The mysterious visitor, identified as the historian Professor W., reveals his past: he won a hundred thousand roubles at a museum, retired to a two‑room basement near the Arbat, wrote a novel about Pontius Pilate, endured hostile newspaper attacks, burned his manuscript, and spoke of a secret lover. New patients appear in rooms 119 and 120, and the editorial secretary Lapshennikova is mentioned. Rimsky witnesses a chaotic street scene after Woland’s Variety Theatre show, receives a mysterious lewd phone call, and is confronted by Varenukha, who tells a fabricated story about Styopa Likhodeev in Pushkino. Rimsky discovers Varenukha’s unnatural traits (bruise, pallor, scarf, no shadow) and a dead naked girl with green‑tinged fingers who opens the office door. A crowing cock signals dawn; Varenukha disappears, and a terrified Rimsky flees the building, boards a Leningrad express train, and vanishes. Nikanor Ivanovich Bosoy, chairman of the house committee at 302‑bis Sadovaya Street, is detained in the psychiatric clinic (room 119), interrogated about a hidden $400 and a mysterious “Koroviev,” then experiences an elaborate dream‑theatre where he is forced on stage to disclose the source of the money; the dream introduces several characters (the young artiste, Sergei Gerardovich Dunchil and his wife, Ida Herkulanovna Vors, Kanavkin Nikolai, and the actor Kurolesov) and repeatedly condemns the concealment of currency. After a calming injection Bosoy sleeps, his cries trigger alarms that awaken patients in rooms 118, 119, 120 and Ivan Ponyrev, leading to a brief chaotic wake‑up before dawn. The execution of Yeshua Ha‑Nozri, Dysmas and Gestas is carried out on Bald Mountain; the crowd evaporates under the heat, a violent storm erupts, and all three condemned are killed. Matthew Levi, who has followed the procession, tries to rescue Yeshua, fails, curses God, obtains a knife, and later frees the dead bodies before disappearing. After the scandalous black‑magic seance, the entire Variety staff disappears; investigators find the directors (Likhodeev, Varenukha, Rimsky) and the magician missing, a contract vanished, and the dog Ace of Diamonds appears, howling at a broken window. A long ticket queue is cancelled and disperses. Bookkeeper Vassily Stepanovich Lastochkin reports to the Commission, wraps the previous day’s receipts, struggles to hire a cab, is baffled by odd drivers, and is arrested after confronting a chaotic commission office. At the city affiliate, staff fall under mass hypnosis, involuntarily sing, and are loaded onto trucks bound for Professor Stravinsky’s clinic.

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