CHAPTER 18 - Hapless Visitors

Chapter 187,635 wordsCompleted

Maximilian Andreevich Poplavsky, uncle of the late poet Berlioz, receives a garbled telegram announcing Berlioz’s “run‑over” and funeral. Believing the message to be a mistake and seeing an opportunity to inherit Berlioz’s Moscow apartment (No. 50 on Sadovaya), he rides the Kiev train to Moscow. At the management office of 302‑bis he asks for the chairman; the nervous clerk claims both chairman and secretary are absent. Poplavsky asserts his legal right as heir, but the clerk is bewildered. A strange man, later identified as the magician’s servant Koroviev, enters; the clerk turns pale and leaves. The office empties, and Poplavsky is left alone. An enormous black cat in glasses appears, snatches his passport, demands it, then barks “Azazello!” Summoned, the red‑haired demon Azazello bursts in, grabs Poplavsky’s suitcase, tears out a roast chicken, hits Poplavsky with the leg, and drags him out of the building. Poplavsky flees up the stairwell, hides in a closet, and listens as various footsteps and voices pass: a tiny elderly man asking for apartment 50, a woman with a green oilcloth bag, and finally a frantic little man—Andrei Fokich Sokov, a barman from the Variety theatre—who climbs the stairs to the cursed flat. Poplavsky decides to test the apartment by watching Sokov’s entry.

Inside apartment 50, Sokov is greeted by a maid in a lacy apron and a coquettish girl wearing only a sheer fichu and golden slippers, marked by a purple scar on her neck. The maid answers the telephone, mentioning “Baron Meigel” and “the artiste” who will be home by midnight. The barman proceeds to the living room where he encounters a surreal setting: a flaming fireplace, a tiger‑skin rug, a gigantic black tomcat, a table covered with church brocade, numerous dusty bottles, a gold dish, and three swords with jeweled hilts. On a steel sword a red‑haired figure (the foreign magician/Woland) roasts meat while a mystical perfume fills the air. The magician declares himself an “artist,” scolds the barman for serving second‑freshness sturgeon, and launches a tirade about food quality, then abruptly changes subject to a prophecy: the barman will die in nine months of liver cancer, his gold will be seized, and his house demolished. He offers Sokov a golden fork, a piece of delicious meat, and a tabouret; the barman, offended, breaks a stool, spills wine, and is repeatedly rebuked by the magician and Azazello. The magician finally invites Sokov to stay, but warns him that any attempt to leave will be met with supernatural obstacles. Sokov leaves, runs into the street, and later collapses in a pharmacy where a woman notes his scalp is lacerated. He is bandaged and, seeking a cure, goes to Professor Kuzmin’s private clinic. There, Kuzmin examines him, learns of the barman’s foretold death in February of the next year, prescribes urine analysis, and admonishes him to avoid salt and tea. While Kuzmin is distracted, a black kitten with a muffed beak appears, then turns into a woman‑nurse with a man’s mouth who steals the barman’s gold. The scene devolves into a grotesque tableau: Kuzmin covered in leeches, a male‑voiced nurse collecting the barman’s money, and a chaotic, night‑time hallway. The chapter ends with the barman fleeing the clinic, the kitten transforming, and the bizarre aftermath of the cursed apartment continuing unabated.