CHAPTER 28 - The Last Adventures of Koroviev and Behemoth

Chapter 284,515 wordsCompleted

About fifteen minutes after the fire that broke out on Sadovaya Street, a tall man in a checkered suit (Koroviev) and a large black cat (Behemoth) arrive at a currency shop on Smolensky market. The doorman initially blocks them, claiming “no cats allowed,” but after a brief exchange the doorman steps aside and they enter. Inside they pass aisles of cotton, calico, chiffon, flannel, gramophones, and finally the grocery‑confectionery junction where a foreigner in a lilac coat is filleting a pink salmon with a knife. Koroviev praises the shop, asks the price of mandarins, and both he and Behemoth begin devouring mandarins, chocolate bars, and a barrel of Kerch herring, much to the horror of the salesgirl. The salesgirl screams “Palosich! 3 Palosich!” demanding a receipt; Koroviev claims they have no money and will pay later. Pavel Yosifovich, a doorman‑type, arrives, whistles, and tries to restore order, but Koroviev addresses the crowd, justifying the theft and insulting the lilac foreigner. A quiet old man suddenly transforms, attacks the foreigner with a tray, and the foreigner falls into the herring barrel, spitting brine and shouting “Murder! Police! The bandits are murdering me!” speaking flawless Russian. Two military helmets appear, but Behemoth pours benzene from his primus onto the confectionery counter; the benzene ignites, the fire spreads quickly through the shop, and the two black‑guests vanish, apparently floating to the ceiling like balloons.

Exactly one minute later Koroviev and Behemoth are seen on the boulevard beside Griboedov’s aunt’s house. Koroviev admires the writers’ house, likening it to a greenhouse for future authors; Behemoth climbs the cast‑iron fence and they decide to have a drink. They approach the veranda of a restaurant where a bored woman in white socks (Sofya Pavlovna) keeps a ledger of visitors. She asks for identification; Koroviev and Behemoth claim to be writers, giving the fabricated names “Panaev” (Koroviev) and “Skabichevsky” (Behemoth). She records them and, after a brief hesitation, permits them to pass. A gentleman in a grey suit (a writer) passes by; the woman calls out “Let them pass, Sofya Pavlovna.” At this moment the notorious free‑booting proprietor Archibald Archibaldovich arrives, recognizes the pair, and escorts them to the best table in the shaded corner of the veranda. He offers them a cheap beer, discusses the richness of the house’s future literary output, and, after a lively exchange, orders a tray of food, a balyk (smoked meat) and other delicacies. Waiters serve them, one bringing a match to Behemoth, another arranging glasses of vodka. The journalist Boba Kandalupsky appears, sits with the Petrakovs, and whispers conspiratorial remarks about bullets, benzene and fire, which the two black‑guests overhear.

Suddenly three men in tight leggings, armed with revolvers, storm onto the veranda and shout “Don’t move!” They open fire on Koroviev and Behemoth; the two instantly dissolve into air, and a jet of fire shoots from Behemoth’s primus onto the tent roof. The flame spreads, igniting the Griboedov restaurant, the curtains, and then leaping into the adjoining Griboedov house where papers, curtains and the editorial office catch fire. Writers, Sofya Pavlovna, Boba and the Petrakovs flee the blaze. Archibald Archibaldovich remains composed, clutching two balyk logs he had hidden earlier, and exits the building through an inner passage, leaving the inferno behind. The chapter ends with the chaos of the fire and the disappearance of Koroviev and Behemoth into the flames.