CHAPTER 8 - The Combat between the Professor and the Poet
Ivan Nikolaevich Homeless awakens in a bright, white‑walled clinic room at about half past eleven. He discovers a bell button beside his bed; pressing it activates a frosted glass cylinder that cycles through the prompts “Drink,” “Nurse,” “Call the Doctor,” and “Attendant.” On his second press the cylinder chimes and a plump nurse in a white coat enters, greets him, raises the blinds, and shows him a balcony overlooking a river and pine woods. She offers a bath; when water gushes from the faucet Ivan sarcastically remarks about the Metropol, and she boasts about the clinic’s modern equipment and foreign tourists. She dresses him in an ironed shirt, drawers, socks, and asks whether he prefers a dressing‑gown or pyjamas; Ivan selects crimson flannel pyjamas.
He is then escorted down a silent corridor to a massive examining room filled with nickel‑plated instruments, complex chairs, pot‑belly lamps, phials, Bunsen burners, and unknown electric devices. Three possible reactions cross his mind—destruction of the equipment, recounting his Pilate story, or silent withdrawal—but he reluctantly answers the staff’s questions. The three white‑clad attendants extract a detailed life history: scarlet fever at fifteen, family deaths, drinking habits, possible venereal disease, and finally his recent activities at Patriarch’s Ponds, including his tale of Pontius Pilate, which they record without surprise.
A male doctor then examines him physically: taking temperature, pulse, shining a lamp into his eyes, pricking his back, drawing symbols on his chest with a small hammer, tapping his knees, extracting blood from a finger and elbow, and placing rubber bracelets on his arms. After the examination Ivan is returned to his room, given coffee, two soft‑boiled eggs, and white bread with butter.
Soon a retinue of staff enters; at its head is a neatly shaven man of about forty‑five with actor‑like bearing, pleasant yet piercing eyes, who introduces himself as Doctor Stravinsky, the clinic’s chief. He receives Ivan’s chart, notices the diagnosis “schizophrenia,” and nods politely as Ivan asks whether Stravinsky is a professor and the chief. Stravinsky affirms both titles and invites Ivan to speak. Ivan implores him to believe his account of a mysterious foreign “consultant” who foresaw Berlioz’s tram death and had personally known Pontius Pilate. Stravinsky interrogates him about details—who Annushka is, the sunflower‑oil slip, the cat, the broken‑glasses man—showing growing irritation but remaining courteous.
Stravinsky then offers Ivan a chance to prove his sanity: “Are you normal?” After a moment’s hesitation, Ivan declares himself normal. Stravinsky, relieved, reviews the chart, enumerating Ivan’s recent bizarre actions (hanging an icon, falling off a fence, carrying a burning candle in his underwear, beating someone in a restaurant, calling police for machine‑guns, attempting to jump out a window). He asks where Ivan intends to go; Ivan answers the police. Stravinsky explains that once Ivan reports the “consultant” at the police station, he will be returned to the clinic, describing a “Pilate‑and‑drawers” logic.
When Ivan asks what to do, Stravinsky advises complete peace, to stay in the clinic, and to put his accusations in writing. He orders a pen and pencil be given, but cautions Ivan not to strain his head and to postpone writing if possible. Ivan anxiously demands to write today; Stravinsky reluctantly permits it, emphasizing the need for calm. He repeatedly tells Ivan he will be helped here, while holding Ivan’s hands, and Ivan, suddenly drowsy, yawns and softly agrees. Stravinsky concludes with his habitual “very nice, very nice,” shakes Ivan’s hand, reminds the assistant to check oxygen and give baths, and departs, leaving Ivan alone in the sun‑lit room overlooking the river.