Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 142,666 wordsCompleted

The narrator spends the opening of the chapter feeling the oppressive “white sound” of unfilled time and imagines filling it with embroidery or a cigarette. She reflects on historical paintings of harems, animal‑behavior experiments (pig balls, rats that self‑administer shocks, pigeons on variable reinforcement), and links the boredom of the Handmaids to these studies. The daily regimen enforced by the Aunts is described in detail: repeated physical exercises on Japanese mats while a recording of Les Sylphides plays, followed by an hour‑long “catnap” in the gymnasium that is presented as meditation but functions as conditioning to make the women comfortable with blank time and possible sedatives in the food.

During one of these naps Moira is thrust into the gymnasium by two Aunts, still wearing her jeans and sweatshirt, with a purple bruise on her left cheek. She is taken to a vacant bed where a red dress lies waiting; the narrator watches her undress and redress under the Aunts’ stare, noting the “knobs on her spine.” Over the next few days the two women exchange only furtive glances. On the fourth day they are permitted to walk together around the football field, still veiled, speaking only in whispers. They arrange a brief meeting in the washroom, timing it for “two‑thirty” during Testifying, and note the limited number of hand‑raises allowed per day.

Testifying is underway in the classroom. Aunt Helena, a former Weight‑Watchers franchise owner, leads the session. Janine repeats a story of being gang‑raped at fourteen and having an abortion; the class chants “her fault” in unison, while Aunt Helena beams. Janine later breaks down, is forced to kneel, and the Handmaids jeer at her, calling her “Crybaby.” Afterwards Janine claims responsibility for her own suffering, prompting Aunt Lydia to praise her as an example. The narrator raises her hand to ask to leave the room, receives permission, and slips out to the hallway.

In the hallway the narrator encounters Aunt Elizabeth guarding the formerly boys’ washroom. Inside, the stalls retain urinals and a hole in the back woodwork that is known among the Handmaids but not the Aunts. She peers into the hole, sees two red shoes, and whispers to the hidden Moira, confirming her presence. They exchange a quick, relieved conversation about cigarettes and “feel ridiculously happy.” The narrator then retreats, feeling a flood of bodily awareness; she describes her uterus as a dark, pear‑shaped organ containing a massive red moon that signals each month’s failure to conceive.

The chapter ends with the narrator’s internal monologue about her body’s transformation from a tool of will to a cloud surrounding a central pear, her fear of monthly bleeding, and the relentless expectation to bear a child for the Commander. Throughout, the narrator’s thoughts return to the artificial exercises, the enforced idle time, and the rare moments of secret contact that sustain her sense of self.