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XXIII

Chapter 233,768 wordsCompleted

After returning from summer holidays, Liudas Vasaris compares the bright, open world outside with the cloistered, oppressive atmosphere of the seminary. He is haunted by memories of Liucė, especially a missed kiss, and the yearning grows stronger as he realizes he is still only a seminarian, not yet a subdeacon. The chapter follows his daily routine of studying moral theology, writing poetry, and confronting the increasingly oppressive mental landscape of desire and duty.

One evening, Inspector Mazurkovskis appears unannounced in Liudas’s room, approving his upcoming recitation on moral theology and announcing that Liudas will begin subdiaconal duties the next day. The spiritual father enters shortly after, praising Liudas’s reputation among seniors and formally blessing his pending ordination, while other seminarians mock him. Petryla congratulates Liudas, noting his excellent standing, but the sarcasm of his peers wounds him.

The next day the seminarians, including Liudas, gather for a series of intensive recitations and a short conference led by the spiritual father titled “Veni crealor Spiritus.” The father emphasizes the weight of priestly vocation, the danger of bodily temptations (“concupiscentia carnis”), and urges the candidates to focus on Christ’s passion. During the conference Liudas’s mind conjures graphic, blasphemous images of a chained, nude woman, which he battles to suppress. He flees the chapel, seeks refuge in the corridor, then returns to read the Holy Scriptures, but the intrusive fantasies persist, now mixing Liucė’s image with scandalous sexual symbolism.

Meanwhile, the fifth‑year curriculum forces Liudas to prepare for state‑required Russian literature and history exams, taught by a civilian teacher from the city. Liudas despises these subjects, finds them the only literary knowledge in the six‑year seminary program, and resorts to copying essays from former gymnasium classmates. He studies ten topics, only one of which will appear on the exam, and struggles to transcribe them under surveillance.

Throughout the week Liudas continues to write poetry, now infused with melancholy, resignation, and the clash of patriotic Lithuanian sentiment against the Polish‑dominated seminary. His poems gain modest public attention, and he receives an invitation to contribute to a literary journal, further fueling his artistic ambitions.

The chapter culminates in a three‑day series of recitations (the “rekolekcijos”) where Liudas participates in nightly prayers, confessions, and a final, prolonged meditation in the empty chapel lit only by a red oil lamp. He experiences a profound sense of dread, imagining a demonic presence that taunts him with the words “Komedijos, komedijos…” and urges him to abandon his priestly path. Overwhelmed, he collapses, is assisted by a senior, and afterward performs the prescribed penance of the Litany of the Saints and Psalm “Miserere.” He confesses his sins—including the lingering desire for Liucė—receiving a measured rebuke rather than harsh punishment. The spiritual father declares that Liudas has passed the essential test of humility, and Liudas, though shaken, resolves to continue toward full priestly ordination while his inner conflict with love, poetry, and duty deepens.

Running Summary
Cumulative summary through the selected chapter (not the full-book final summary).
Through chapter 23

Liudas Vasaris awakens in the seminary, learns the strict daily bell schedule, experiences his first communion in the chapel, and begins adjusting to life among fellow first‑year seminarians. The seminary’s hierarchy is detailed: the bishop’s authority is limited, the rector (Valeškevičius) oversees daily life and grants permissions, Inspector Mazurkovskis enforces Polish traditions, and the spiritual father administers confessions. First‑year seminarians perform numerous chores (cleaning, serving meals, assisting in liturgies) and must master Polish and Latin while receiving only minimal Lithuanian instruction. Political tension over language rights fuels patriotic unrest among the seminarians. Liudas, looking back years later, recalls these routines, the strict punctuality, and the mixture of spiritual practice with menial labor. Liudas wrestles with the emptiness of his liturgical routine, adopts a two‑part conscience‑examination method with counting beads, confesses emerging sins such as pride, envy and criticism of elders, experiences a winter‑time scramble for a hidden bench by a wall niche, and during the Easter break a fellow seminarian (the formarijus) points out his overly closed and secretive nature, deepening his self‑awareness. After Easter, Vasaris walks with fellow first‑year seminarians Jonas Variokas and discusses his cynical ambition to climb the church hierarchy, which triggers deeper self‑doubt about his vocation. Vasaris observes the seminary’s strict rule against close friendships and notes the scarcity of truly pious peers. He and Variokas view a provocative illustration of a nude, bound woman, prompting Vasaris to confess to the spiritual father about his indecent curiosity. The chapter also recounts the earlier mishap of acolyte Balselis trying to extinguish candles. Variokas announces his departure and leaves the seminary; Liudas meets his parents for the first time in the seminary’s parlatorium and experiences humiliating address as “kunigėli,” fuelling his awareness of reputation and the need for secrecy; a clandestine gathering in the “zirkininkas” storage room erupts with food, Latin verses and heated jokes; third‑year clerk Jonelaitis and fellow clerk Kasaitis join the scene, discussing the monotony of seminary life and urging private initiative; Liudas reinforces his habit of hiding during silentium and carefully monitoring rector and inspector movements. Liudas finishes his first year, receives stern holiday conduct instructions from the spiritual father and rector, travels home and experiences an overwhelming connection with nature, returns to his village, is welcomed by his parents, begins parish life under a local priest, reunites with Petryla, observes clergy’s drinking and a strict vicar, meets the barmaid Liucė, and reflects on his vocation amid the contrast between seminary asceticism and village realities. After the St Laurence indulgences Liudas recalls a tense encounter with the vicar of Šilučiai, deepens his infatuation with Liucė by learning her orphaned background and musical talent, meets the young, aristocratic vicar Zigmas Trikauskas who arrives with Liucė, witnesses Trikauskas’ arrogance and the clever manipulation of the local klebon Kimša, and participates in a heated village discussion about Lithuanian cultural‑political issues, all of which intensify his inner doubts and his awkward, failed attempt at intimacy with Liucė. Liudas enters his second year of seminary, moving from the cramped “labirintas” to a small shared room of four, no longer under constant supervision by a formarijus. He develops his first romantic and erotic attraction toward Liucė, wrestling with seminary teachings on celibacy. After a few weeks he is ordered by Inspector Mazurkovskis to relinquish his room and return to the labirintas; he protests, is mocked, and is forced to move back, feeling humiliation. Later he confesses a vague “excessive opposition” and receives stern admonition from the Spiritual Father, settling into resigned acceptance of the hierarchy. Liudas participates in the great Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary indulgence celebration; his choir talents free him from assistant duties and earn him praise; during the mass he experiences a vivid vision of an unknown woman, idealizing her as a poetic love; the celebratory atmosphere lifts his spirits and earns him admiration from fellow seminarians; Petryla informs Liudas that Liucė will visit the seminary soon, heightening his anticipation; after the festivities Liudas returns to the labirintas and falls asleep, still haunted by the vision. Liudas experiences a melancholic “quies” day, imagines an unknown woman, writes his first poem, receives his poem printed in a newspaper, and is initiated into the clandestine literary society “Šviesa,” meeting third‑year clerk Petras Varnėnas and fourth‑year clerk Matas Sereika. Liudas receives an unexpected Christmas‑time visit from the priest Kimša and Liucė; the three meet in the parlatorium where Liucė brings hand‑knitted gloves and playful banter ensues with Petryla, who jokes about Liudas’s nickname “Pavasarėlis” and warns him of possible jealousy. Liudas’s attraction to Liucė deepens, prompting a long internal debate about love, its forms, and the conflict between clerical celibacy and youthful desire, while he reflects on the seminary’s festive atmosphere and his own emotional turmoil. During the Carnival season the seminarians organize “pončkos” festivities and a “Šviesa” society meeting to plan a literary program. Varnėnas, a third‑year clerk, volunteers to recite Maironis’s poem “Skausmo balsas” at the society’s stage. His loud, confrontational performance provokes outrage from the rector, Inspector Mazurkovskis, the chaplain and other senior clergy, who interrupt, question the poem’s author, and chastise Varnėnas for breaching the rule that no seminary member may publish or distribute writings without the rector’s permission. The rector publicly rebukes Varnėnas, expels him from the “Šviesa” circle and warns him that his literary ambitions are dangerous for a priest. The incident deepens Vasaris’s anxiety about his own poetic aspirations and the clash between Lithuanian nationalist sentiment and the seminary’s Polish‑dominant authority. The chapter also records heightened Lithuanian‑Polish tensions, the continued secret reading of Lithuanian and foreign literature, and the admonition that seminary curricula omit classic world literature. Varnėnas is expelled and Vasaris spends his holidays at his family farm, repeatedly climbing the Aušrakalnis hill where he writes nature‑inspired poetry and reflects on the limits of priestly idealism. He deepens his secret love for Liucė, attempts a belated visit to her home and receives a cold reception. Later Liucė, accompanied by Trikauskas, visits the seminary; during the visit Vasaris is publicly mocked by the outspoken student Brazgys, who denounces seminarians’ hypocrisy. A surprising visit from the Kleviškis organist and the priest’s female relative brings Liucė to Vasaris’s home, where they walk the garden together but Liucė remains distant. Vasaris ends the chapter in solitary melancholy, still longing for Liucė and questioning his vocation. Liudas is placed in a hostile room with four Polish seminarians who repeatedly mock and undermine him, highlighting heightened Lithuanian‑Polish tensions. He endures third‑year moral theology lectures, participates in a demanding confession case presented by a professor involving a penitent named Kajus and a disputed kiss, and continues his secret diary writing hidden in the “žirkininkas” food box, deepening his sense of emptiness and disillusionment with theological study. Liudas continues to record his bleak daily routine, wrestles with doubts about priesthood, receives encouragement from his friend Eigulis to write poetry, his father visits with snacks, Liucė confesses her longing and reveals her mother is a Polish countess, and Liudas fantasizes about a romantic encounter with her in an abandoned manor, deepening his inner conflict between clerical duty and personal desire. The scandal of fifth‑year seminarians Bronius Radastinas’s expulsion is revealed, the rector reads a public condemnatory letter to the seminarians, Liudas Vasaris is shaken by the incident, the third‑year receives lower minor orders and undergoes tonsure, Jonelaitis receives a letter from Varnėnas commenting on Liudas’s poetry, and Liudas’s inner conflict between his poetic aspirations, love for Liucė, and clerical duties deepens. Liudas Vasaris, urged by senior cleric Jonelaitis, makes his first train journey with Jonelaitis and Kasaitis, visiting Vilnius and Trakai. The trio tours Aušros Vartai, Gediminas Hill, the Cathedral, and Trakai castle, reflecting on Lithuanian cultural suppression under Polish‑dominated clergy. Vasaris experiences vivid imagination flights, feels both exhilarated and haunted by his earlier Radastinas letter, and returns home for the final week of holidays, where his parents reprimand his scarce presence and he fears a dangerous meeting with Liucė’s family. The chapter deepens his internal conflict between priestly duty, poetic ambition, and romantic longing. Liudas discusses Liucė with Petryla, learning she has become bitter and spiteful, and he ponders marriage but resolves to intensify his spiritual practice instead of abandoning the seminary. He discovers a unique emotional resonance in the empty chapel, using its silence for deeper meditation, yet finds his dogmatic theology studies unsatisfying. His isolation grows, with fellow student Brazgys mocking him, while the arrival of spring briefly lifts his spirits. Liudas Vasaris grows bolder, openly criticises senior seminarians, joins a Šviesa gathering in the woods with Jonelaitis, Kasaitis and Eigulis, where they mock the new professor Vingelevičius and lampoon Inspector Mazurkovskis. He deepens his literary pursuits by reading Tiutchev, writes passionate diary entries, publishes poems under a pseudonym, hides forbidden books in a secret compartment, and assumes a senior role in his dormitory. Liudas attends priest Kimša’s 50‑year jubilee, is praised and warned by Kimša about following his example, meets an older‑looking Liucė at the celebration, shares a strained lunch where Liucė flirts and drinks, while Petryla mocks his poetry; the encounter intensifies Liudas’s doubts about his vocation, love for Liucė, and poetic ambitions. During his post‑Kimša fest holidays Vasaris serves at his parish, spends idle moments imagining his past encounters with Liucė, receives her announcement that she will soon marry, and hosts a farewell gathering where Liucė and Vasaris exchange a tense, flirtatious conversation, deepening Vasaris’s crisis between priestly duty and personal desire. Liudas Vasaris organizes an elaborate farewell celebration for his seminary graduation, hosting a large and diverse group of guests—including Kasaitis, the senior cleric Jonelaitis, former gymnasium friends Gudžiūnas and Krapaitis, and distant relative Murmaitė. Unexpectedly, the former student Varnėnas arrives, sparking lively conversation. The party moves from the garden to a climb up Aušrakalnis, where Liudas and Liucė share an intimate, emotionally charged encounter that deepens his romantic feelings and accentuates his inner conflict about the priesthood. The day ends with mixed emotions, absent notable figures (Trikauskas, Brazgys), and a lingering sense of both celebration and melancholy. Liudas Vasaris is announced as a subdeacon, must pass compulsory Russian literature and history exams, and endures intensified inner conflict over his love for Liucė amid vivid spiritual father lectures and disturbing visions during recitations.