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IV

Chapter 42,265 wordsCompleted

The chapter opens on a warm spring afternoon in the seminary garden, where Liudas Vasaris and a few first‑year seminarians sit on a bench enjoying the sun. Their conversation drifts to the upcoming Easter break and the comical candle‑extinguishing mishap of the acolyte Balselis, who, because of his weak eyesight, repeatedly misses the candle holder and jokes that acolytes will no longer need to light candles. The dialogue turns tense when Jonas Variokas, a fellow seminarian who entered the seminary from the same high school as Vasaris, invites Vasaris for a walk to “say something important.” During the walk they exchange personal histories: Variokas recounts his poor school performance, his reputation as a “big bully,” and how his admission surprised their acquaintances. He then probes Vasaris about his reasons for joining the seminary. Vasaris gives a vague answer about serving society but soon admits, in a half‑joking tone, that he sees the priesthood as a career ladder: becoming a vicar, then dean, then capitular, and finally a private man free of clerical constraints. Variokas reacts with sarcasm and criticism, calling such careerism “comedy” and warning that true priests either deceive themselves or are rare “stubborn camels.” He challenges Vasaris on his lack of real experience of priestly life, noting that Vasaris has never served in a parish or celebrated sacraments. The conversation shifts to a bleak forecast of the future of their cohort: Variokas predicts that only a minority will become genuinely good priests, while many will become drunkards, gamblers, or mediocre parish caretakers. Vasaris feels a chill of fear at these predictions. Variokas then explains the seminary’s rule that forbids close friendships, especially walking in pairs, and describes how senior seminarians monitor such behavior. Later, the two men examine a large illustrated painting titled “Branka w jasyrze” (“Slave in Chains”), depicting a naked, rope‑bound young woman. Variokas teases Vasaris about the erotic appeal of the image; Vasaris feels both curiosity and shame. He later confesses to the spiritual father that he has looked at indecent pictures, which the father rebukes as dangerous. The chapter ends with Vasaris reflecting on the overall lack of genuine piety among his peers—only a handful of the twenty seminarians seem truly devout—and how this realization, combined with Variokas’s harsh words, forces him to confront his own doubts about the priesthood.

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Liudas Vasaris awakens in the seminary, learns the strict daily bell schedule, experiences his first communion in the chapel, and begins adjusting to life among fellow first‑year seminarians. The seminary’s hierarchy is detailed: the bishop’s authority is limited, the rector (Valeškevičius) oversees daily life and grants permissions, Inspector Mazurkovskis enforces Polish traditions, and the spiritual father administers confessions. First‑year seminarians perform numerous chores (cleaning, serving meals, assisting in liturgies) and must master Polish and Latin while receiving only minimal Lithuanian instruction. Political tension over language rights fuels patriotic unrest among the seminarians. Liudas, looking back years later, recalls these routines, the strict punctuality, and the mixture of spiritual practice with menial labor. Liudas wrestles with the emptiness of his liturgical routine, adopts a two‑part conscience‑examination method with counting beads, confesses emerging sins such as pride, envy and criticism of elders, experiences a winter‑time scramble for a hidden bench by a wall niche, and during the Easter break a fellow seminarian (the formarijus) points out his overly closed and secretive nature, deepening his self‑awareness. After Easter, Vasaris walks with fellow first‑year seminarians Jonas Variokas and discusses his cynical ambition to climb the church hierarchy, which triggers deeper self‑doubt about his vocation. Vasaris observes the seminary’s strict rule against close friendships and notes the scarcity of truly pious peers. He and Variokas view a provocative illustration of a nude, bound woman, prompting Vasaris to confess to the spiritual father about his indecent curiosity. The chapter also recounts the earlier mishap of acolyte Balselis trying to extinguish candles.