Chapter 4
The chapter opens on a warm afternoon after the last week of Easter break. First‑year seminarians sit on a bench in the garden, chatting idly until the conversation turns to assistants and ceremonies. The acolyte Balselis, weak‑sighted, fumbles while trying to extinguish candles, prompting teasing from the clerk Variokas.
Soon after, Vasaris (Liudas Vasaris) is invited by the same clerk, Variokas, to take a walk. During the walk Variokas recounts his background: he and Vasaris came from the same high school, but Variokas was a poor student, a gossip‑lover, and a “big butt” who attracted attention. Vasaris notes that, despite Variokas’s rough reputation, he sometimes seeks Vasaris’s company.
Their dialogue shifts to Vasaris’s reasons for entering the seminary. Vasaris gives a vague, socially‑oriented answer (“to be useful to society”), while Variokas presses him on his knowledge of priestly life. Vasaris admits he has never lived in a parish or performed clerical duties. Variokas boasts about his own exposure to priesthood through an uncle who is a priest, describing travels to Russia and Poland and claims deep familiarity with clerical rituals, which he dismisses as “comedies.” He predicts that many future priests will become corrupt, dividing them into three groups: the selfish, the hypocritical, and the “stubborn camels,” and claims most will lack genuine spiritual fire.
Variokas then reveals his personal ambition: to become a “bad priest” for career advancement, planning a rapid rise from vicar to dean and beyond while keeping his private life insulated. Vasaris reacts with shock and fear.
The conversation continues with Variokas describing a senior deacon—a large, well‑groomed man—who behaved drunkenly, harassed women, and threatened to have Variokas expelled from the seminary. When asked what to do, Variokas suggests he will simply leave the seminary earlier. He then philosophizes about priesthood, arguing that true priests are either self‑deceived, genuinely sincere, or “last stubborn camels,” and that he belongs to none of these, refusing to perform ceremonial “comedies.”
Vasaris confesses his own aversion to ceremonies and his upcoming assignment as acolyte. Variokas mocks his youth (Vasaris is seventeen) and notes that many novices are similarly young and detached. He criticizes Vasaris’s distant attitude and predicts Vasaris will not fit the seminary’s expectations.
Their walk is cut short by a phone call. A few days later, Vasaris meets Variokas again; Variokas shows him an illustrated “Klosų” (Clergy) volume, opening to a large painting titled “Branka w jasyrze” (“The Slave in Captivity”) depicting a completely nude, rope‑bound young woman. Variokas makes lewd comments, labeling the image as “too much lewdness,” while Vasaris, unaccustomed to such pictures, feels both curiosity and indecency.
Disturbed, Vasaris later confesses during confession to his spiritual father that he had looked at indecent images. The father chastises him, warning about the danger of unguarded eyes and citing the example of King David.
Through these events, Vasaris becomes increasingly observant of the seminary’s atmosphere: he notes a scarcity of truly devout seminarians, estimates that only a small fraction are sincere, and recognizes that many are apathetic or hypocritical. He also learns that the seminary enforces strict rules against close friendships—students must walk in randomly assigned pairs, and repeated pairing leads to warnings—further isolating him. This exposure deepens Vasaris’s critical perspective on his vocation, while also providing a modest sense of solidarity, realizing he is not alone in his doubts.