Chapter 65

Chapter 652,803 wordsCompleted

Liudas Vasaris returns from the holiday season to the daily rhythm of his gymnasium work, supervising classes, managing school affairs, and observing the lingering quiet of the post‑Christmas atmosphere. He assumes responsibility for Vytukas, a young boy placed under his care, and during their conversations Vytukas recounts his mother’s nervousness and a recent episode when the family received a visit from Captain Raibys, a man who behaved oddly and caused tension in the household. The boy’s frank disclosure about his mother’s harsh words and the captain’s intrusion unsettles Vasaris, who begins to worry about the child’s emotional well‑being.

Vasaris also spends time at the Glaudžiuvienė residence, where Liucija, now married to the vicar Glaudžius, appears as a fashionable, confident hostess. He observes her interactions with other guests, notes the elegance of her attire, and is struck by how she evokes the earlier aristocratic figure of Baron Rainakienė. Memories of his earlier affection for Liucija surface, mingling with a fresh, jealous yearning as he compares her poise to the alluring baroness.

Simultaneously, Auksė Gražulytė, who has become a regular presence in Vasaris’s life, engages him in conversations about poetry, love, and his inner turmoil. She encourages his literary efforts, praising a simple poem he writes for a child, while also confronting his restless sexual cravings. Vasaris experiences vivid, almost erotic fantasies about both Liucija and the baroness, describing his desire in sudden, graphic metaphors and feeling the pull of a “secret, sensual fire” that conflicts with his clerical vows.

Throughout these encounters, Vasaris reflects on his bodily changes, his sense of being “torn between a holy path and a human yearning,” and his struggle to reconcile his poetic ambitions with his priestly responsibilities. He compares his emotional state to the shifting Lithuanian landscape—melting snow, budding grass, a bright bird’s song—signaling a tentative hope amid deep inner conflict. The chapter ends with Vasaris recognizing the intensity of his love‑infused jealousy, his unresolved attraction to Liucija and the baroness, and the growing dissonance between his spiritual vocation and the alluring, artistic life he increasingly longs for.