VIII
At the start of the second academic year Liudas Vasaris feels markedly more autonomous. The “labirintas” of his first year is replaced by a modest dormitory room that houses only four seminarians, which he uses only for night‑time sleep while spending his days in the main dormitory. The constant surveillance of a former formarijus has vanished, giving Liudas a sense of being no longer the youngest, most supervised cohort. During the early holidays he observes priestly life more closely, and the lectures of the Spiritual Father about sin, repentance, heaven and hell echo as he roams the summer gardens, pondering a dispute between the local priest Kimša and another cleric.
Liudas’s thoughts turn increasingly to Liucė, the barmaid he met earlier. For the first time a woman sparks both curiosity and a fledgling romantic‑erotic desire. He compares herself to his own self‑image, seeing himself as dull and timid versus her confident, daring demeanor. This internal rivalry fuels a new ambition to be noticed, to “stand out” in Liucė’s eyes, and he begins to incorporate thoughts of her into his daily conscience‑examination, despite the seminary’s strict doctrine prohibiting clerical relationships.
The Spiritual Father conducts a three‑day post‑holiday retreat, lecturing on priestly chastity and warning of the “dangerous” influence of women. Liudas listens while mental images of the conflict between Kimša and the “archdeacon” swirl, and he repeatedly asks himself how he would act if he were in the vicar Trikauskas’s place.
After a couple of weeks the seminary’s routine is fully settled. Liudas, now a second‑year clerk, enjoys improved refectory and chapel facilities. The senior of his dormitory, a fifth‑year clerk, is jovial and watches over the “silencium” rules, occasionally sharing light jokes.
A third‑year Polish clerk arrives late, ill, and the rector’s administration, led by Inspector Mazurkovskis, decides to reassign Liudas’s room to the newcomer. Mazurkovskis orders Liudas, a second‑year clerk, to vacate his room and return to the “labirintas,” even though two first‑year seminarians still occupy rooms there. Liudas erupts in protest, questioning why he alone is singled out, accusing the authorities of seeing him as “quiet, thin, and small.” His peers mock him, calling him a “holy child” and teasing his misfortune. Mazurkovskis dismisses Liudas’s health claim, insisting he is perfectly fine and must move.
Liudas complies after a humiliating exchange in which he kisses Mazurkovskis’s hand, then trudges back to the damp, cold labyrinth. In his new bed he imagines the confrontation, cries, and feels deep wounded pride. Over the following days the acute sting of the humiliation fades.
Later, during confession, Liukas offers a vague admission of “excessive opposition” to authority. The Spiritual Father delivers a stern, corrective admonition, reminding Liudas of the need for humility and obedience. The reprimand restores Liudas’s standing with the superiors, though internally he perceives this resignation as a compromise rather than a true triumph. He continues to wrestle with his growing poetic talent, which friends later recognize, but he remains unable to claim it for himself, muttering that it is “not for me.”