Chapter 24

Chapter 243,080 wordsCompleted

On the morning of the subdeacon ceremony Liudas Vasaris wakes calm, performs his usual morning prayers and meditation, and notes that only about three hours remain before the rites scheduled for 10 a.m. He and his fellow seminarians review the ceremony details, rehearse the tonsure, and discuss their preparation. Kasaitis taunts him with “you’ll soon be a finished man,” while Petryla quotes the bishop’s Latin admonition “Si quis habet aliquid contra illos, pro Deo et propter Deum cum fiducia exeat et dicat,” provoking Vasaris’s irritation. Petryla apologises, but the exchange leaves Vasaris uneasy, fearing suspicion from the critical Brazgių and Petryla.

At roughly 9:30 a.m. the group arrives at the cathedral in long white albas. The bishop enters to the chant “Ecce sacerdos magnus,” and the seminarians line up in three pairs before the altar. Before the Gospel the bishop pauses; the archdeacon, also the seminary rector, calls the candidates: “Accedant, qui ordinandi sunt subdiaconi,” naming each by surname. Vasaris replies “Adsum,” proceeds to the altar, then returns to his place. The bishop delivers a Latin warning to the subdeacons, a formula that Vasaris hears without absorption.

The liturgy continues: the bishop recites “Ut hos electos benedicere, sanctificare et consecrare digneris,” the choir chants “Te rogamus audi nos,” and the subdeacons perform their prescribed duties—drawing water for the altar, serving the deacon the chalice and paten, caring for the blessed bread, and washing the altar linens. The bishop hands each new subdeacon an empty chalice and paten, explaining the essential formula “Veizdėkite, kieno tarnyba…”. He then bestows the subdeacon vestments—manipulum, tunica, and the books of epistles. The ceremony concludes with Holy Communion for all.

After the Mass the candidates lie on the floor, listen to the Liturgy of the Saints, and later receive congratulatory remarks from fellow candidates and well‑wishes from friends. They thank the bishop, the rector, the inspector, and the spiritual father for the ordination. Vasaris feels a profound calm; the earlier anxieties about his vocation and the harsh criticism of Brazgių and Petryla recede, and he senses that he has crossed a spiritual threshold.

In the days following the ceremony Vasaris studies for upcoming Russian history and literature exams, but his thoughts of Liucė frequently surface, now reduced to a passive memory. One evening in the cathedral he experiences a vision of an unfamiliar woman dressed in dark robes with a white veil, whose melancholy gaze offers him a fleeting, cold breeze. The vision does not resolve his inner turmoil but deepens his contemplation of love, loss, and spiritual longing.

Vasaris also serves as an assistant during a later subdeacon service, struggling with the epistle chant, feeling observed, and making several mistakes. The rector limits his assistance to every sixth Sunday. In his free moments he walks the garden paths, practices brevijoris, and engages in brief theological discussions with peers. A fellow student, Balselis, repeatedly falters at brevijoris, while Vasaris handles the task smoothly, gaining quiet respect.

Through these experiences Vasaris resolves to become a priest, vowing abstinence from alcohol, gambling, and women. He confronts the conflict between his poetic aspirations and clerical duties, contemplating three possible futures: abandoning poetry entirely, merging poetry with priesthood, or keeping the two paths wholly separate. This internal debate marks the chapter’s climax, leaving Vasaris at a crossroads between his lingering affection for Liucė, the memory of the white‑clad woman, and his emerging priestly identity.