Chapter 46

Chapter 461,416 wordsCompleted

At the start of the chapter Vasaris reflects on his first communion experience, perceiving the act of parish‑visiting (kalėdojimas) as a minor facet of pastoral work, a small indulgence for the rich and a duty for the poor. He observes that his poems are being read by a teacher and misunderstood, recalling Ramutis’s warning about the conflict between priesthood and poetry. The teacher admires his work but cannot guarantee lasting support.

Soon gossip spreads through the parish. The village’s “Brostvininkas” and his wife begin to whisper that Vasaris, referred to as “the young priest,” consorts with the “Žodeli” sect and associates with “bedieviais” (heretics), alleging that he writes immoral texts. The local priest (klebonas) overhears these rumors and erupts in anger, chastising Vasaris: “You are still young; you must obey the established order; now there is only intrigue and discord.” He declares that the teacher will never be a true friend of the priesthood.

Julė, a woman formerly attached to Vasaris, overhears the priest’s tirade multiple times. Realising that the priest despises Vasaris and wishes to remove him, she becomes obsessive. Though she had previously directed her affection toward him, Vasaris ignored her, prompting her to stalk him, follow his every movement, and report every perceived slight to the priest. She despises his visits to the manor and his interactions with aristocratic “cicilikais” (high‑society guests). Determined to have the priest correct Vasaris, Julė repeatedly confronts him, even after being rebuked, and continues to spy on his confessions.

Vasaris’s confessional routine escalates: initially once a week, then twice, and finally twice a day. The priest explicitly forbids such frequency, yet Vasaris persists, his confessions becoming increasingly insincere. The priest discerns Julė’s manipulation and sees that the confessions are being used to influence him. At one point Julė complains about a baroness’s skirts, then dreams of a demon violating the baroness, shouting “God, may you be cursed!” She later recounts this dream to the priest, further fueling the priest’s displeasure.

The chapter then shifts to the liturgical sphere. After a chaotic mass, Vasaris stays with the organist, singing the Nocturnum and Laudes. While chanting the Latin prayers—“Domine, quando veneris judicare terram…” and “Ego sum resurrectio et vita…”—he feels a cold, death‑like breath that temporarily eases his worldly anxieties, yet also invites a deep, chilling fear. He laments his inability to master complex rites such as the “Officium defunctorum,” asking the organist to skip passages, improvise, or add a second voice. The organist obeys, creating a disjointed, rushed melody.

Following the service, Vasaris proceeds to a series of penitent executions (egzekvijos) where he hears a repetitive chant: “Jėza‑au, sūnau Dovydo, susimilk ant dū‑ūšių!” He covers his ears, trying to block the mocking parody of the “Sveikmarijos.” The chant haunts him, echoing in his mind long after the ceremony.

As Easter approaches, the workload in the parish intensifies. More penitents attend, each demanding extensive guidance, causing the priest to admonish Vasaris for neglecting proper instruction. The priest also forbids any further contact with Julė, citing her disruptive influence. Meanwhile, Vasaris’s relationship with his spiritual mentor, Ramutis, has grown cold; they no longer speak, and Ramutis no longer offers guidance.

Vasaris continues his duties, facing an unending stream of confessions, rushed liturgies, and the priest’s stern reprimands. He feels his poetic spirit suffocated, his inner life fragmented by rumor, obsession, and relentless ecclesiastical routine. The chapter closes with Vasaris exhausted, his spiritual crisis unresolved, and his longing for poetic expression clashing with the demands of his priestly vocation.