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VI

Chapter 63,168 wordsCompleted

The chapter opens with Liudas Vasaris celebrating the successful completion of his first academic year. Exams have passed, and the seminary announces the upcoming holidays. The spiritual father gathers the first‑year clerics and warns them that the vacation is both a test and a danger: they must remain humble, avoid worldly temptations, and continue spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, conscience examinations, confession, and communion. The rector adds practical guidance on conduct in the family, the parish, and when visiting guests, emphasizing modesty and the need to present a good example. He also reminds them that senior seminarians will be exempt from supervision, but the juniors must still be vigilant.

On the day of departure the seminary erupts into a chaotic scramble: students run, shout good‑byes, exchange addresses, and hurriedly pack. Liudas’s father arrives, cheerful and eager to bring his son home. The convoy leaves the forested hills behind, and Liudas rides through the summer‑light of the Dzūkija region, watching pine, spruce, birch, lakes and hills. The landscape overwhelms him; for the first time he feels the totality of nature, a mixture of joy, melancholy and resignation that starkly contrasts with the strict asceticism he has lived under. He reflects that his soul, trained to focus on sin and mortification, now tastes freedom, light, and colour, yet also senses a lingering fear that he will return to “the hard solitude of austerity.”

Liudas arrives at his family’s homestead. The whole village knows that a seminarian is returning, and neighbours greet him with a mixture of joy and envy. His mother cries with happiness, his siblings are shy, and his father proudly introduces him as “kunigėlis.” Liudas reassures his mother that the journey was pleasant and thanks God openly, feeling the weight of his new priestly identity. During the first night he sleeps in his childhood bed, comforted by the familiar sounds of the house.

The next morning he goes to the parish to meet the local priest (klebonas). The priest is a relatively young man without a vicar, so he welcomes Liudas as a guest and keeps him at the parish until Sunday. Liudas adopts the parish routine: he joins the morning prayers, reads the prescribed books, meditates, and performs the daily rosary, mirroring the seminary schedule but now in his own home. He also attends daily Mass, serves as a server, and receives Communion. The priest, impressed by Liudas’s discipline, occasionally asks him to explain any lapses during confession.

Soon after, Liudas meets his former seminarian friend Petryla, who has returned to his own family’s house. Petryla and Liudas walk together to the parish kitchen where a large dinner is being prepared. The priest orders a lavish meal; senior clerics, including several vikarai and “apaštalas” (the nickname for the strict Šilučių vicar), sit at the long table drinking wine, brandy and other spirits. Petryla comments on the stark differences between his own priest’s modest household and Liudas’s parish priest, who keeps a young housekeeper, serves wine, and even employs a vicar. The conversation turns to the clergy’s habits: the vicar’s severe demeanor, the priest’s occasional indulgence, and the general culture of drinking after services. Petryla warns Liudas that the life of a parish priest can be far from the austere ideal he was taught.

During the meal a barmaid named Liucė appears, bringing coffee and pastries. She is described as a beautiful, dark‑haired girl of about twenty, with bright eyes and a ringing voice. Both Liudas and the senior clerics notice her; the “apaštalas” watches her intently. Liucė offers Liudas a cup of coffee, flirting lightly, which makes him feel both warmth and embarrassment. He is unable to speak, stammering, while Liucė smiles and jokes about his shyness. The encounter leaves Liudas unsettled, as he senses an attraction that conflicts with his vows and the strict moral atmosphere of the parish.

The dinner ends with more drinking, a heated exchange between the “apaštalas” and the priest over the amount of alcohol served, and a brief physical scuffle when the vicar attempts to take a glass from a younger cleric. The priest scolds the vicar, and the vicar storms out, leaving the room in tension. After the guests leave, Liudas returns to his room, sleepless, replaying the day’s events—the awe of nature, his family’s embrace, the feast, and Liucė’s smile. He feels both uplifted and burdened, realizing that his spiritual journey will now have to navigate the ordinary temptations and communal pressures of parish life.

In the following days Liudas follows the parish schedule, attending Mass, serving, and studying. He hears older clerics recount stories of seminary life, hears rumors about other parishes, and observes the everyday rhythm of village clergy. He reflects that while his formative years taught him to despise worldly pleasures, the reality of serving a community will demand a different balance, one he must discover through experience.

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Through chapter 6

Liudas Vasaris awakens in the seminary, learns the strict daily bell schedule, experiences his first communion in the chapel, and begins adjusting to life among fellow first‑year seminarians. The seminary’s hierarchy is detailed: the bishop’s authority is limited, the rector (Valeškevičius) oversees daily life and grants permissions, Inspector Mazurkovskis enforces Polish traditions, and the spiritual father administers confessions. First‑year seminarians perform numerous chores (cleaning, serving meals, assisting in liturgies) and must master Polish and Latin while receiving only minimal Lithuanian instruction. Political tension over language rights fuels patriotic unrest among the seminarians. Liudas, looking back years later, recalls these routines, the strict punctuality, and the mixture of spiritual practice with menial labor. Liudas wrestles with the emptiness of his liturgical routine, adopts a two‑part conscience‑examination method with counting beads, confesses emerging sins such as pride, envy and criticism of elders, experiences a winter‑time scramble for a hidden bench by a wall niche, and during the Easter break a fellow seminarian (the formarijus) points out his overly closed and secretive nature, deepening his self‑awareness. After Easter, Vasaris walks with fellow first‑year seminarians Jonas Variokas and discusses his cynical ambition to climb the church hierarchy, which triggers deeper self‑doubt about his vocation. Vasaris observes the seminary’s strict rule against close friendships and notes the scarcity of truly pious peers. He and Variokas view a provocative illustration of a nude, bound woman, prompting Vasaris to confess to the spiritual father about his indecent curiosity. The chapter also recounts the earlier mishap of acolyte Balselis trying to extinguish candles. Variokas announces his departure and leaves the seminary; Liudas meets his parents for the first time in the seminary’s parlatorium and experiences humiliating address as “kunigėli,” fuelling his awareness of reputation and the need for secrecy; a clandestine gathering in the “zirkininkas” storage room erupts with food, Latin verses and heated jokes; third‑year clerk Jonelaitis and fellow clerk Kasaitis join the scene, discussing the monotony of seminary life and urging private initiative; Liudas reinforces his habit of hiding during silentium and carefully monitoring rector and inspector movements. Liudas finishes his first year, receives stern holiday conduct instructions from the spiritual father and rector, travels home and experiences an overwhelming connection with nature, returns to his village, is welcomed by his parents, begins parish life under a local priest, reunites with Petryla, observes clergy’s drinking and a strict vicar, meets the barmaid Liucė, and reflects on his vocation amid the contrast between seminary asceticism and village realities.